`[F]arhan

The old makes way for the new !!

2010-06-18T00:46:00.001+08:00

This blog started in November 2004.
It is 6 years old.
This blog URL didn't change since it was first created.
It has been consistently updated monthly if not weekly.
Carries fond memories of when I was still in Commonwealth Secondary School.
Lots of ups and downs.
This blog existed.
It won't be deleted.

Time to switch to a new blogging service. Here's my new URL ya'all:

http://notmyself-tonight.tumblr.com

Sent from farhan's iPhone. 

2010-05-26T23:12:00.002+08:00

---

Christina Aguilera's Bionic.

"Lift Me Up"

So the pain begins

As the music fades

And I'm left here with

With more than I can take

If you lift me up

Just get me through this night

I know I'll rest tomorrow

And I'll be strong enough to try

When the static clears

And all is said and done

A will realize

That we all need someone

If you lift me up

Just get me through this night

I know I'llrest tomorrow

And I'll be strong enough to try

So when you see me crashing

And there's nowhere left to fall

Will you lift me even higher

To rise above this all

If you lift me up

Said if you lift me up

Will it be higher

When you see me crashing

And theres nowhere left to fall

Will you lift me even higher

To rise above this all

If you lift me up

Said if you lift me up

If you lift me up

Just get me through this night

---

Outstanding song.

Missed 3 water trainings already. Truthfully ? On purpose. What's going on. With me. Really. New change of rule doesn't bother me at all. I read the comments written by the alumnis. Geez. Fucked up alumnis. What makes them think that SP can produce outstanding players every single year. Joko, Jun Yin, Arif, Hafi and me have ever asked before why the seriousness ? No, really why ? FUCK. I think they are the reasons why my batch is in this state. We get chased off. And sometimes I think am I still the stupid one left behind clinging onto something that won't do you any good. Where's the fun ?

If the rules are confirmed though, I'd love for Alex to play IVP thhis year. Haha. Just end this shit.

I can't focus fully in school since last week. Lots to memorise for the upcoming test. Tests right after the selection. Perfect timing. Let's see how I'm going to handle this.

Headache the whole day today. And my nose kind of keep smelling blood. No idea why. Need a haircut.

Dilemma. bullshit politics - in school pool.

Farhan

2010-05-24T01:41:00.001+08:00

Who would have thought ?

There'd be only me and hafi left.
And there's the junior fighting each other to get a place in the IVP
team.

Honest truth ? Iv had enough of fighting alrdy. I just dun care. That
was like the last straw. Why'd we have to play like a life is in
question ? It's only a competitive sport. Its not like every batch
could produce wonderful players. I'm jus sick of it all. It's like
okay why should I continue coming? For 2 good reasons. For Hafi. And
for Jiajie and yx who WANs to help me get my ivp medal. Those are the
only reasons. When u join sp canoepolo, you join a new path of
uncertain future. And that is a fact.

Selection this week. Fuck that.

My best buddy's going for his hand op tomorrow. His face already spell
the special word to me: freedom. Haha notice I have to use the word
freedom ? It's as if We're caught in a cage like dat. Wish him speedy
recovery of his hand.

I told my mom that next year, I don't want any photos taken as
mementos. Ive had enough memories etched in my mind. A good lesson
I'll nvr forget.

Upgraded my MacBook hdd to 500GB !! Awesome shit. Paid from my own
pocket. :]

Stop pushing it you guys. All of you. I will explode.

Sent from farhan's iPhone. :]

2010-05-17T00:52:00.001+08:00

Camp ended. Probably my last camp in poly too.
Kinda not so fun like last year's.
Haha.

Lots of flashbacks on second night. Just alone.
I see their nicks and status spelling one word: Freedom.
Really wonder how much have their life changed. Issit better ? Don't
they miss going back at all ? Angry man.

Played a full length game for the first time in 2 weeks. That bad. And
it's really tiring. Need to get the engine started again.

Selection's next Sunday. Wad selection ? We're so in it. Arif's right
and he got me thinking again. Hmm. We are so damned. But heck, we've
received shit for such a long time. ^^
Speaking of which I must say sometimes you don't know when the seniors
will be fuckers at certain point of times. Dats probably why we don
click. They think they are entertaining when it's obvious it's an
insult they are shooting. Fuck it.

Damn. I think I've shrunk. Can't buy my clothes wif ease lol. My legs
are smaller than size 8. WTF. Waist 28 is super loose for me. Wts.
Issit me or the clothes ???? Can't buy shit today. Got myself a new
pair of running shoes. :] imma run faster now. Hehe.

My body's a little weird. I get faster as I run longer D. I always
lose out at the start but catch up like crazy later on. Haha. It's not
mental man. I've tested myself.

Havainas at 50% off. Gonna check it out tmr. :]

FYP is driving me a little red and green and white.

Wednesday slots are back. Haha.

Sent from farhan's iPhone. :]

2010-05-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

JB opens was bullshit. Referees should suck their own d***. think I
gained 1.5kg from the trip which is awesome !

No rowing again for this period. WTF. I feel like I'm screwed.
Everyones screwed. Lol. So we are heading out to Kallang tomorrow -
again. It's been so long. Except that the last time, there were more
people. :/

Ran to botanic yesterday for the first time wif my batch teammates.
There was only me and Arif anyway. I sure can pace a long D. I'm not
engineered for sprints haha. If i can last that long then how come I'm
tired easily when on water. Hmm weird again. Mental I guess ? Anyway
I'm aching like crazy now. Still can row tmr. :)

I'm finally understanding my lessons in class. Slowly trying to get it
right. Not giving up. Probably only having problems with LFC's class.
He's a little weird. Haha. Schl has been smooth with lots of free
times. FYP might be jeopardizing it soon. :/

Oh well. Early morning row tmr. :]

Farhan's iPhone

2010-04-27T00:52:00.001+08:00

Schools going fine for me.
I looked at the photos. I just realized what I had really wanted to
achieve. Actually I wasn't so bad. Just that I couldn't all the stress
at that time. 2 years ago at this time I was excited and anxious for
answers. Now I could only dream about what would happen if I stayed.
The wings.

I keep thinking something big is going to happen but have no idea what
it is. Could be something good or bad I dont know. I am kind of
stressed these days. :/

Malaysia trip this weekend. Canoe polo. Hmm hope it's a fruitful and
fun one.

Job interview tmr. WANs the extra cash for personal spenditure haha. :)

Farhan's iPhone

2010-04-18T09:59:00.001+08:00

A week ago, I'd woke up to an exciting qurter finals canoe polo match.

I cam extra early today. 9am. Like wth. Training starts at 11am. Is
that hardworking ? Nahh. I'm whining. Haha. I'm deprived of my that
extra 1 hour sleep. And right now, I'm sitting alone at moberly
theatre. Lots of mosquitoes.

Can't believe school starts tomorrow. It's a new semester again. Year
3. A really big deal. It's my final year here. Gonna be meetin my
classmates once again tmr. I'm like sitting here thinking back about
the time I've spent durig the holidays. At sp swimming pool all the
while. The competition, politics and training. Lost teammates. The
very few times I managed to go out and catch a movie. It ends today.
Haha.

There's definitely going to be not much of a lesson tomorrow. Wonder
what we are gonna do. I would love yo watch kick ass.. Haha.

And the worse part of it all ? Waking up at 6.45am. Ever since last
semester ended. I've been wakin up at 11am every single day. This has
got to be the most difficult part of adapting.

IVP selections. Coming up. And it's sadd that I've got no team to play
with for nat champs. Yf have said before that the worse thing in canoe
polo is not about how lousy you are, it's when you have no team to
play with. And it's happening right now. Haix.

Farhan's iPhone

2010-04-12T04:01:00.001+08:00

SPCPOC 2010 ended finally.

Not that I wanted it to end quickly. It was by far the only
competition where I get to play like a normal player and play a lottt
of games. So the question I have for myself: will this be the last
Opens competition for me ??
I enjoy canoe polo just like how u enjoy taking photos with ur DSLR.
It will soon all be over. Temporary or permanently ? I still ...

4th place in ranking. It's hard to ignore wad others think sometimes.
Don't know whether I should feel happy about it or not.

Timetables out! Crazy Tuesday. More Indian lecturers. Haha! More
accents I suppose. More free times for FYP! Not gonna disappoint ch
and Winnie ! I may not know as much as them but I love doing
research ! Gonna chiong and do this right.

1 more week of holidays. I dun feel a thing. I'm not complaining
either. It's like I'm ok and Rdy for anything goes. Year 3. So old.
Army next year. Haha.

Team dinner just now at fish n co. Damn impromptu. Zi wei introduced
new iPhone game. Lol. Sure up your vocabulary by a bit. Haha.

It's goin to be desert training tmr. As in there's not much pple. Haha
it's just after comps.

And lastly I'm damn broke and my shure gave me issues.

Looking forward to whatever is to come for me ! 1 more week of
slacking ! :]

Farhan's iPhone

I stumbled upon this photo.

2010-04-06T23:32:00.001+08:00

6 months ago.

Farhan

2010-03-31T23:48:00.002+08:00

Pass damn lanjiao ball. I know.

It's not the polo trainings. Haha. :/

Been missing out on classmates outing a lot. Not picking up phone calls by them. I am deeply sorry for not joining. You know I want to. :]

Not answering becoz I dun wanna talk about the topic again. Sorry pal. :/

My teammate's acting up again. Retarded. In what way did I offend you ? Why so childish ? Lame shit really.

Gonna be a tough weekend. Gotta chiong ! Out with my mom this week and aunt's getting married this Sunday ! Haha. My favourtite spread of food please. Corn rice and all. eeerrmmphh.

Farhan

2010-03-28T23:57:00.001+08:00

And so I got asked where are my 2 members who's name starts with a
letter J. And why is there a new J in the team.
Wad can I say. Haha.
Basically I sighed in my heart. Oh well.

Fighting real hard. F the old folks home team we lost to. Zz.

Apparently TP also share the same fate as my team haha. 3 original
players in the team. Interesting.

Farhan's iPhone

2010-03-27T23:15:00.001+08:00

I don wanna remind myself about it.
Till school opens, it's all polo. No life yes I know but fuck it. Let
me end this nicely at least for myself. Support me if you're my friend.

I have crashed yes and burnt myself but I'm forcing the fire to
subside. A little water from the outside will help.

Farhan's iPhone

2010-03-20T23:29:00.001+08:00

That aside. Move on.

It's tough. Every path.

Yf said it right. Treasure the current team. There's no one else once
it's over. There's only so much though that we can stick together.
Once ivp is over, poof. People will go MIA. That includes me. Maybe.
Pretty sad people want to leave at this juncture.

Gonna make the best of wads left now. It's all there is. Enjoy every
single game. Just enjoy it. Me, Alone doing it.

Farhan's iPhone

2010-03-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

Farhan

2010-03-16T00:58:00.001+08:00

I was hoping and praying.
At least I could have improved it up ?
It didn't.

Where in hell can I go with 1.9. Feels like there's no oter options
left. I never foresee myself with a dead end. Wad de heck do I do now.
It's like a time bomb. The real pain will come when school's over. I
hated the things that surrounded me upon knowing just now. I feel like
giving it up. All of it. Start afresh with new people. But time will
be the cost. I'm alrdy 20 years old and have yet to enlist. I don't
want to be trash.

I disappoint myself and everyone. What's going on wif my 3 years here ?!

I'm stressed enough with upcoming competitions and the trainings. When
your not a good player. The better ones will say about you. What's
with the extra comments ? Jus fuckin play ur game if you dun wanna
help. I dun fuckin see why I should behave like a friend sometimes.

I have a team. But it's not my original team. People say my original
team is lousy. People always say. The feeling is gone. New feeling has
been set. It's a synthetic feeling. But I still play. It's like we
once sat down tgt and had aims and pointed out ways to improve only to
see most are gone just when it's finishing. Vivo.

I dun feel like doing anything now. I may enjoy now but come 2011, I
have to think of ways to save myself. What the heck. I've concluded:
it's not worth it.

Farhan's iPhone

Loser looner whatever

2010-03-10T00:21:00.002+08:00

I .. Am .. On .. The .. Verge .. Of .. Ending it.
I don't know.

I'm fighting every week for something and everything and for what ?
Over a medal. I need to program my thinking. It's like C Plus
programming where I'm stuck at If Else.

I feel caged. Stupidly. And there's nowhere else for me to express
these things. I feel like caging up my blog too so I can go more
hardcore on saying the things I want.
Lol.

It was a great last 1 hr yst night as kj taught me how to shoot.

Aaaaargh. My palms are hurting. :/

Good friend bad friend best friend.

New blog song is weirdly nice !

Ok face it. Cheer yourself up and do it right. If they don't want
you to play, they will say it. And I hope they say it earlier. I'm
close to going bonkers thinking about this all the time.

Really Wished I was at the BBQ now.

> Lastly, red singlet holds memories of all da shit. :/

Farhan's iPhone

2010-03-09T02:11:00.001+08:00

...

5 becomes 4. (+3)
How saddening.

We were supposed to trudge through this path together. :/

On to the next one ! :]

Farhan's iPhone

FF13 PS3 version.

2010-02-26T11:20:00.001+08:00

March is not gonna be boring for me. :]
2 more weeks !

Farhan

2010-02-25T02:32:00.001+08:00

Watched the Percy Jackson movie today.

It was jus and okay movie. Not truly great as said by others. Oh well
lol. Aston for dinner. Double didn't make me full. Haha

Once upon a time 2008 batch had 8 finalized players. It decreased to 7
of which 1 more quit due to personal reasons. Remaining 5 now alrdy
looked like remaining 4. :(
Jus wad can bring the fire back ? Don give up on urself.

And.. My wrist hurts. I've no idea why but it's been hurting since
last wednesday's training.

This year is my crucial year. It's my last for everything I cared in
school. I've been thinking...

2.30am
Sleeep. Study time tmr. "}

Farhan's iPhone

2010-02-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

Exam period.
Terrribleee.

Come on ! Haha.

First of all, thanks to my classmates for the wallet. Nice birthday
present really. Using it now - replacing my 2 year old 18th bday
present by sec schl mates haha. And the free dinner in the evening
too. :]

Have tried both bags and decided that I shall use the grey one
permanently. Will keep my black one properly though. Still have a few
more brand new bags. :]

He's giving himself to us already. We should treasure it. I know it
myself but I guess I never really show it. My team's big but we have a
diverse of talent. :]
I really do hope some of my teammates stop being selfish and self
centered. You've gotta think from a bigger view and not from ur eyes
only. You're not the only one working hard. Why do u haf to sound like
ur playin it damn right.

Gonna try to find a day to row this week. ACS paper's tomorrow. I can
do this. Haha. I wanna watch the Percy movie but it's like almost
everyone have watched it. Sian.

Sigh I can't take the paper just like the rest of my friends.. :(
I don want to hear anything about it.

Farhan's iPhone

Stressed !!

2010-02-05T00:01:00.001+08:00

I need to do it right this time.

I want to achieve something at the very least. This is the time to
start! Come on !!! ACS first. God.. Loan me photographic memory for a
month please.

Polo slot resumed yesterday ! And we kicked it off with 9 hours of
polo! Real training shall resume tmr though. Jia you team. Together
for once please !

Managed to recoup some cash. In search of a good headphone. Tested AKG
and sennheiser HD 238. Both are really to my taste althoough I like
the latter eventually. Now considering and thinking if it is worth it
or not. Hmm. I also realized in ear headphones can only do so much.
Headphones have more bass power. :/

Expecting the tracking code next week latest. Should I sell off my
current black one ? Hmm.

20 in 6 more days ! :]

Lastly, I am freaking tired. :/

Farhan's iPhone

20 in 2 weeeeks !

2010-01-25T19:10:00.003+08:00

Hello to my first timbuk2 bag! :]

Really love this tag a lot!

Hafi's 19th birthday 2 weeks back. Haha Sort of our first out-of-pool shot.

Mom's gotten me an early Bday present. Got myself another Timbuk2 Messenger. That was the original model which I had wanted and finally they had another 30 to sell. So yeah importing it straight from San Francisco. Should be arriving next Monday I think. That coupon which Megan gave is super cool. Free shipping plus 20% off EACH bags. Wish I had another one of that coupon. Lol. So basically I paid $52 cheaper than other people. Now I have two Messenger bags. :]

Taio Cruz has really a great R&B vibe to his songs. Loving both of his albums.

Kallang's training started again for this 2 weeks until the pool is opened. Hmm. 3 on 3 has just ended. Looking at Vimeo vids now. Wad are the keywords to type to a POOL of polo videos ? Anyone knows ? Lol.

Apple's unveiling something new in 2 days time! Oh well I can just watch and drool over it.

20 in 2 weeks time! I'm not classified as a teenager anymore ! Haha. It's gonna be weird.

Farhan

Loving my bag!

2010-01-20T00:16:00.000+08:00

I really love my new timbuk2 bag but I'll give it away to my bro once
my product red version is ordered. Haha. I think timbuk2 owns
manhattan portage and crumpler.

Tired ! I hate suicides really. I'm not made for sprinting. Lol. Fuck
that 16 secs just now. Why can't we get the 15 secs? Hmmm. It's like I
wished I didn't have legs just now. Oops.

With wad Daren have said, i really mean by May. Gotta decide by that
time. Come onn.

Sore throat! Must be junyin again who passed it to me. Zz. I dun wanna
get super sick. Can't enjoy food with sore throat and running nose. Zz.

Farhan's iPhone

2010-01-14T00:21:00.001+08:00

Today I should have just went home right away.
Really should.
I hate the words of discouragement.
Some people really need to be more open and understanding instead of
being judgemental and one sided in thinking.

I'm in the middle of January now. Too soon really. There's this
turning 20 officially thingy and CNY hols and study week approaching.
Do it right. Will. Do. Haha.

Looks like my saving plan is nt going well. Discovered there's new
models to be released in a couple of months. Think I will have enough
time to save up then since it's in months. :]

Apparently, AGM this year sounds more fun. There's food and gathering!
And video to watch too. Wonder hu the new president is haha! Next
Monday ya'all.

Hafi bday celebration yst. Tore his underwear. -.- but well it was the
first team bday celebration haha.

Bags will be shipping only next wednesday so it would take another 2
more weeks. Oh well lol.

I personally hate suicides. Just cannot stand it. Lol! Dat part of
exercise is like mood control for me sia.

Time to have that 'never sufficient' sleep. :]

Farhan's iPhone

Take it off !!

2010-01-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

Weird entry title I know but well it's a great song !

In any case, 1st week of sem 2 ended. Awaiting my timbuk2 bags.
Couldn't understand physics lecture today. Was sleepy in class.
Spinnovex was okok only. Broke. Went for training at 5pm. Injured my
left tiny toe. DAMN PAIN. Blue black haha.

3 on 3 tmr !! Exciting. Finally get to sit on vamp againn. But I
injure my toe so I gotta be careful nt to be careless.

Saving up my money to buy Beats Solo by Dr. Dre. 400 bucks. I think I
can make it haha for my birthday. Haha!

Started off the new year wif new music too. Kesha! Animal sounds real
good. Will get a copy if I had the spare cash. :]

Stay positive.

Farhan's iPhone

Farhan..

2010-01-05T22:50:00.001+08:00

..feels damn stupid. Literally.

Farhan's iPhone

2010-01-04T23:53:00.001+08:00

He is probably damn right.
I'm just like a dummy every week.
Useless.
Don't know wad to do.

Felt like nt going to class at all. The feeling of being the dumbest
in the clique.

Tmr's not gonna be any better I think.
Save myself from me.

Farhan's iPhone

2010 and heavy wishes.

2010-01-03T21:49:00.001+08:00

2009 have ended.
Feels like only a month have passed instead of a year.

Should i call it a good year for me ? Yes ? No ? I shall call it a
year of lessons and regrets. 2009 was the year I have been thinking
heavily. Often in a pensieve. I think of all the things that i should
have done which I didn't. I think of all the fake smiles I put to my
problems and the small simple achievements i'm expected to achieve -
which I didn't too. And then I question myself "why?" pretty often.
Why dont i ever achieve ? I had wanted people to look up to me. But it
never happened. I have never ever liked the treatment given to me by
almost everyone in poly. My mind is very much busy throughout trying
to change and save myself. But at the end of of it all, I'm still the
same. Some people tried to help, give advices but they just don't
fully understand me. It isn't easy to give up on some things that I've
been doing even though i keep complaining having problems with them.
You see, I've fallen in love with doing it. I failed to keep up with
my studies still. I'm upset with myself for letting people think that
I do not take school as being important.

I'm determined though that this year, things will be better for me.
People will see me differently. I'm able to concentrate on my studies
if not do well. I'll be able to juggle my time equally between school
and canoe polo. I will play canoe polo better - with utmost
confidence. I will stop crapping for a reason. I want back the good
and obedient me 2 years back. It may all seem too late but 2010 seems
the year where things will get better. I have set my own personal
target on 2 things.

Had a different new year eve for 2009. Usually I'd go Cheng yi house
to meet up with the rest. But I went night cycling with jy this time.
It was pretty fun. My first time cycling on the roads. And seeing the
nightlife. The fireworks. My first time right underneath sg flyer too.
It was nt a boring eve for me. Went to east coast to look for some
frens after that. Then went to slp at jy's grandma house. The dogs
were scary. Haha. Impromptu event but well kinda worth it.

Kallang training has officially ended. Deeply disappointed with myself
today. Have been rowing a lot this 3 weeks. Hope there's some fruit
bore from all this.

3 on 3 next week. It's okay if my team doesn't have a good shooter or
keeper. What's matters most I believe is that we will play this well
and makeit as fun as it can be. I can't wait to sit on a vamp again !
The last time was in Taiwan. Really missed playing polo. And like I
said, this is the final streak, I give myself till April.

Fight on the obstacles. :]

Farhan's iPhone

Testing

2010-01-01T22:09:00.001+08:00

Blogging from iPhone.

Sent from my iPhone

Christmas Eve..

2009-12-24T18:02:00.002+08:00

.. suckass!

Jus very sian. Lol. From want to go out become no mood to go out. Zzz. Should have planned way earlier. Tmr die die mus go out. Boorringg.

Farhan

2009-12-21T12:29:00.001+08:00

Anyone wanna buy Timbuk2 bags too ?
Haha.
Wanna share shipping charges lol.

2009-12-16T22:05:00.001+08:00

Why do you still not understand me after many years ?
I just suck at showing how much I care okay ?
I am worried everyday I swear.

Farhan

Official first week of hols.

2009-12-13T20:27:00.002+08:00

freeeeeeeeeeee.

Finally it's that 'can wake up super late with no schl to worry' season again. Woohoo. Training's on full throttle. Hmm. Except that it won't be polo trainings. It would be sprinting trainings. Haix I cant even balance on T1 properly. Wtf please. Buttock pain!

The team's gone a little haywire. It's all because of the 'don't like this, don't like that, don't like him' personality. Sigh.

I need a job for personal finance. Lol. I'm super broke !

O-well.

Farhan

o v e r.

2009-12-11T14:30:00.001+08:00

Break time.

:(

focus.

Farhan

this is it.

2009-12-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

again!

Exam week.
Wednesday and Friday's paper are not good for me. So I'm gonna need some help and motivation. Hate this kind of thing. Exams. Zzz.

Can't wait for Friday.

Oh and I need to dig my paddle in more. Why the heck don't I realise this problem. EVERY f***ing time. Anyway I really tried to control my strokes yesterday and it did worked. Next Sunday, I'm going to learn to catch and feel even more water.

Farhan

- team!

2009-12-04T19:57:00.002+08:00

Hello teammates! Let's resume our competency after exams! :]

Farhan

help.

2009-12-03T22:34:00.002+08:00

It's been what? About a month since I talked here ? I think it's been more than that.

From the point where I lost my HTC Diamond 2. And when I got my IPhone 3G. Haha. Oh well. A LOT of things went on in my life.

At one point of time before I went Taiwan I think, I was feeling down. And after Taiwan trip, I managed to have a deep thought about certain and discovered I'm in pretty much of a mess. From my life to studies to CCA. Everything in me. I realise too that certain decisions I've made were deeply wrong. I should have done this and done that. Should have. Was alone in the bus on the way to town then.

I had the Taiwan trip from 10th November. It was a pretty short 1.5 weeks there. Great experience for me there. Learnt quite a lot of things. Everything. Culture and polo. Stayed with my teammates. Doing things together. Became sick on the 5th day. Honestly Zi Wei probably said it right, I did get tortured in some way due to the fact that I can't eat most of the things there. I wasn't complaining but it really got me sick when I come to think of it. Diaorrhea too - and it was a terrible one. It came to a point where I just had no appetite for the whole day on the 6th day. I skipped lunch and dinner. Thankfully I recovered that night before we went to Club. Haix.

But the diaorrhea didn't go away. Not even till today. And I recently got sick again. When we shifted to the hotel, I kind of liked staying there more. The place was super cold though. Did shopping and stuff with my mates. Bonded. And when we come back to SG, it was a shock to hear that we can't play for 2 months. I shan't elaborate further though. Haix.

Then shcool resumed and holiday mood was over once again. And it was time to study for MSTs again. That really sucks. And I just feel so damn disappoint with myself at the moment. I am damn CHUI to the max. I can work hard but what's the point when it's kind of too late.

FYP Grouping discussion yesterday took 1.5 hours to settle. Based in merits, I just tried to shut the fuck up and let em do the sorting. Oh well, I hope it all goes smoothly. And I can't even help my friend in last sem's work.

I just don't wanna fumble too much now. What's best for me I don't know. Sometimes I don't know who is willing to help me. In the past I've always cared much about others. And I think I'm just too kind.

Stop screwing up.

Farhan

Lost phone. New phone.

2009-10-05T15:00:00.002+08:00

I know it's been somewhat ages since i've blogged.
Been really busy. If it's not work, it's going out, if it's not going out, its training.

Actually I've really not been taking care of my health that well. Physical injuries and such. These few days it just got worse. Lol. I don't know what's the consequences if this goes on. Going Taiwan In a months time. Excited ? Yes I am. But then again, I go with the hopes that I can improve. By how much ? I hope a lot. Sometimes I want to prove to people my worthy but I just don't know how. I go back home to think of all the wonderful things I could do if I was a better player. I don't want them to be just a dream. Haha. IVP in a years time. Such a big thing. I've found my motivation. I need to think of it more when I train. I need to. Gym tmr!! Hope work ends earlier tmr. Fark last week I came at 9pm. -.-

And speaking of last week, i lost my Diamond 2. Haix. Actually i thought that it was some sort of joke at first. But I cam to realise this wasn't anything funny. But I can't put on a serious look right away. Haha. I was pretty sad but it already happened. I took things for granted. But it was well a lesson learnt. I will take care of my things better now. Thk god I got back my wallet though. And the money was intact. But I knew it already that the phone was gone forever. Making police report isn't much of a big deal. It only gives 2% chance of getting it back. So to you guys that's reading this, i'm not using the number starting with 9189 anymore. My new fixed number is 9653****. If you haven't got it, msn me or something. Signed up new line with an Iphone 3GS. My dad didn't want to pay 300 for the 3GS. I was pretty fine with 3G. I don't need it that sophisticated. I like my Iphone just as much as I love my Macbook. That thing is more than just a phone to me. It's one of the best entertainment device ever created ! Seriously. But yeah I love it. I swear this phone shall be with me for at least 2 years. I am not going to change it for anything else. Even if the 4G comes out. :]

Now at starbucks alone. Coz I'm thirsty and the workers haven arrive (at One Fullerton) yet. So yeah I'm slacking a while. Seriously. Macbook battery life is just awesome. It's been my great companion every single day. Really love my mom for this great gift. Wait, its a gift meh ? Haha.

Happy 19th Birthday aRIF! Yes finally the 5 of us are 19 years old! Seems quite old but we still look like secondary school kids. -.- Haha. Went out with them yesterday and ate fish n co (again!). Oh well. Haha. Oh yeah and we agreed to not do some things next year. Freaking hell. Let's just do it. Bastard idea yes but please. They don't give a shit. :]

Yuan Feng's sprinting training yesterday was something I've done for the first time. i admit, I almost died. Not for real la but it's really damn tiring. Which means it's beneficial too. Ya la I was like struggling but that's the idea what. If I'm not struggling means I'm not pushing myself. I don't mind doing it some more. We need it. He's really the perfect person to coach us.

Farhan

Living in SIN is the new thing!

2009-10-01T21:21:00.003+08:00

Britney's new singlee! Haha. '3' - playing right now. It's a song about threesome. Peter, Paul and Mary. Hmm. Is she always that horny ? Will be buying her treasure chest coming 24th November. $145. o.o

Such a mishap. Wallet and phone stolen on Tuesday night. I used the word stolen - yes. I did not left it behind. It was taken! AArgh. And the person who stole it brought the whole thing to Dover MRT toilet and chucked my wallet there. He didn't take the money. Fuckk. Retarded. So wallet was returned to me. I feel like demanding to watch the CCTV on that night. Surely can see a few suspects. Using Nokia 6220 at the moment. And a new number too. Think I will be asking my dad if I can sign up for a student plan under my name. I've got a few savings. So yeah. But yes I miss my Diamond 2. Haix. :(

It was a great meetup last Monday. Met back a few of the secondary school friends and our Literature teacher! Haha. Mr Singh is still full of humor as he was before. Yes we reminisced. It was a great short gathering. And the pratas tasted so good. I wondered why I complained for dinner that day. :]

My fitness dropped like hell. I do lesser weights than I did in gym 2 months ago. Nvm. Dun fret. Just catch fast can already. Achingg. Training tomorrow. I don't know why but I love Friday evening trainings the most. I know how lousy my team is in terms of SP standard. I just hope the rest of us don't give up and keep trying. :]

Work tomorrow. Boring attachment. Lol. Love my macbook for entertaining me for all the days. :]

Farhan

attachment. competition's over. holidays. hari raya.

2009-09-28T11:55:00.003+08:00

title says it all.

Yes, it's been ages since i updated. Been lazy and too busy. Mom's complaining why I keep going back home so late. i can't answer her. Don't know how to. Lol. It's a norm for me to be back home at night all the time. Only the recent Hari Raya days, did i managed to go out with her. Fasting month has ended. I freaking lost weight and looked 40% scrawnier than before. Lol. Should have seen that one coming. I don't get it. While other people anywhere wants to shed weight, here I am doing it with no sweat. What's wrong with my body ? I don't have sufficient vitamins in my body as i never take in any vegetable since i was 3 years old. I am in deep shit for that I know. I heal from injuries really slow. A minor cut can take a week and a half to recover for me. Lol. Wait-a-minute. Why am I talking about my body system. hmm.

Here a little summing up of things for me:
-Wei Jie's birthday.
-Canoe Polo competition.
-Exams.
-attachment all the way.

Work attachment from school. hmmm. hmmm. Hmm.... Boring. Certis Cisco. Security company. I don't understand why they would wanna take in students into their company when they don't have anything properly planned for them. Pretty dumb. Like right now, here I am playing on my macbook. Lasting for about 5 hours plus. Just slacking all the way. I would have been able to go for trainings using this time wasted. Not forgetting, I'm travelling around with the workers and perspiring along with them too. Wth. Fuck care about polo tee already. just wear t-shirt now. Haha.

During this period till attachment ends, I'll try to give my best during trainings. Just got back into the water recently and the whole body is dying already. Too long never row. I'll slowly catch up again. Wanna do something about my short bursts. Gym tomorrow! One thing though, I will accept all the scoldings but I won't give up. I know I should have quit way back but it's been too long. I like this sport. stop doing things halfway. I don't have ultimate strengths like the alumnis so I will try to work on speed and vision. I have found my motivation to train. The smirks and smiles from the faces of Tpeace is etched in my mind for now. I will turn that positive look on their face to disappointment when we meet next year. They are going to eat our shit by that time. And give that fat ass back his sarcasm.

Team dinner yesterday. Steamboatttt. Ate many beef slices. :] Attendance was as good as previous team dinner. O well.

New Britney song tomorrow. LOL! Titled '3'. Yes, the number 3. I don't know why it's that title. Sounds cool.

Meeting mr Singh and the other peeps this evening. it's beeen so long. Gonna be like another fun literature lesson! :]

Transformers 2 DVDRIP leaked. :]
Digging Paramore's 'Brand New Eyes'. :]

Farhan

I just wanna be..

2009-09-21T12:11:00.002+08:00

.. 'Happy'

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
just can’t let go
just trying to play my role
slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So and it's just that i can't see
The kind of stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.

:]

Farhan

2009-08-30T01:10:00.003+08:00

Snow Leopard installed. :]

Woots.

Farhan

2009-08-20T09:51:00.003+08:00

It feels like there's no more public holidays to look out for.

oh wait. There's still Hari Raya. I'd have to enter the fasting month first! Speaking of which, the first day of fasting is this Saturday. Will have to get used to waking up at 4 am once again. And training at 9am. Hmm. I can foresee a very hectic schedule which I am asking for.

Exams are not round the corner. They are just at the door net to mine. It doesn't even feel like anything. But it is coming next week. And I am not prepared for it as usual. I just can't manage my time well. I am still trying to cope. Hmm.

Shouldn't have went for Tuesday's training. Went back home earlier to rest but my temperature shot up to 38.7 degrees. I was burning and my head was spinning. Having a high fever. Still having fever today in fact. Irritating flu and cough. Mom told me to go back home after lessons today as there's fasting and exams coming right up. But I've been absent from exercising for quite long. Hmm. I'll decide later.

Mom got me my first Macbook 3 weeks ago. lovin' it really. :)

I feel like I'm financially cursed this year. Can't save money for my own personal spending like last year.

Think I will stop here for now. It's freezing here at the library. Wait, I think it's just me and my fever. -.-

Will post again soon. Been too long. :]

Farhan

:]

2009-08-01T00:03:00.003+08:00

Ok.

I know it's been weeks since I last post. But it's been hell weeks of tiresome. Just keep attending trainings non-stop. I would say it's a little crazy for me. But I have to accept itt. Right after that team talk, a different vibe was casted. Well. It was still kind of shaky. But it was good. We had the same aim - we want to be better than the alumnis. Takes timee. But really, I've faithfully attended every single session. I didn't had time for anything extra. In fact, I'm dying for extra hours of sleep. Haha.

Nothing much took place these few weeks. There's Gary's birthday last week, Poly 50 2 days back (Canoeists got 2nd! :]), Friendly against TP canoe team on a Sunday and err few mini tests in school which I detest. Hmm. And yes there are a few pictures tooo. Speaking of pictures, I got B+ for gems overall so far. Need to 'up' for the last assignment then get that A+.

So pictures first ? Or posts ? Lol.

Yes. I'm tannned as hell. Pure malay finally. Hee. We finally got team pictures but without Alex. hhMmm.

Friendly against TP. Hmmm. WTF. It was a match we should win. But we errr were exhausted lei. BUT that's not a goood excuse. So we shall admit we are still lousy. Haha. We shall make the crowd go WOW when the day deems fit. Training in progresss people. The IVP team comprised of year 2s and hmm not bad I think. But honestly and sincerely, good luck against our years 3s. :)

Gary's 21st birthday at Fish'n'Co. I just love that place. Honestly. And I have no idea why. But spent a whole 30 dollars. $.$ It was quite a big celebration for that crazy clubbing senior of mine. He got whacked right outside the outlet. Haha.

School has been crazy these few days. Sudden tests and lots of projects. Time managing was quite bad for me. :(

Just ended OOP test in the morning and couldn't get full marks. :( Mind keeps going blank each time I get stressed. Arh.

Taiwan trip is being planned now. SIA tickets at 490SGD. Exciting and expensive.
And yes, I am in need of money now. So I am positive to any interesting one day part-time job kind-a-thing.

ITP coming. Throw me some exciting company. Curse telemarketing. haha.

Looking forward to Britney's singles greatest hits coming October. Haha. Madonna's 'Celebration' comes out just in time for our national day too. 'Obsessed' is on heavy rotation. Official remixes leaked today. :]

Heading to bed noww. Will post again.

Farhan

Team talk

2009-07-09T00:48:00.002+08:00

..done.

Was unfinished but fine.

Farhan

2009-07-07T18:55:00.001+08:00

Farhan

evan kong rocks!

1st day on the job

2009-07-05T00:15:00.002+08:00

Got the first 50 dollars.

Got a backache from it too. Didn't know stnding would hurt one's back. I thought the legs would be the victim. In any case it was boring but it was still okay. Standing outside Heeren giving out Flyers. Wearing the sandwhich board. It wasn't that cool actually. Haha. Some people shun us. But I was amazed at the courtesy of singaporeans. Surprisingly, about 90% of them knew how to reject. The rest had either peculiar head turns or just stare and walk straight to their paths. Quite retarded really. But that's just what people are. Thk god my job doesn't have a quota to finish giving out the flyers. It's based on the hour I spent standing giving out. Well I did my best to give people the flyers. LoL. There were some sporty people who answered the question on our boards. It's a rather intriguing question that's printed on our boards - really.

And then we met this 'gay' guy outside heeren who was looking out for pretty girls for this show. I don't know what the hell it is but yeah. He even wanted Lex to model. LOL. And when he told us who he took for as godson, we were like stunned a little. Lol. Anyway yeah we saw hell lots of different people.

Transformers 2 for the second time yesterday. Was good watching it again with my classmates this time. There's gonna be a third time tmr I think. Haha!

MSTs over but the feeling's not right. Year 2 is a scary year. I don't wanna do anything wrong. Stop saying the same thing.

And yeah I get pissed. Like there is something that is bothering me. Why should I really bother about it ? Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why. I just dislike being the last in everything. I know why I crap a lot - so much that I'm nt treated the way a normal person would - or at least the way people use to treat me way way before. It's not me really, believe me. And everytime there's this fkin same thing being said and said and I just keep vigil and silent and pple mistake me for being pissed. I'm just avoiding really. Coz I find it fkin stupid. Seeing and hearing the same thing. Like I don't know enough. But in all, I still remain vigil and treat things like everything's fine.

Farhan

Britney Spears - 'Radar' !

2009-07-03T08:12:00.001+08:00

Farhan

Term 2 to commence

2009-06-26T22:40:00.007+08:00

Few events have passed..

Attended the International Water Festival last Sunday at Marina Barrage. My first visit there. Was wondering why the event was manhandled by SP staff and students. Hmm. Such a huge event. Got a shirt which is thick in material and is over-designed. Had to wear that shirt for the raft race. It was scorching hot. The life vest was damn tight too. Got 3rd for the raft race. Retarded shit. We lost to 2nd place by 1 second. I keep rambling about it as it's a freaking 1 second. Damn that ITE boat that rammed into us. Lol. Here's some pictures from that event:

And I don't think I mentioned this but have a look at the new 'PSP Go' coming end of this year.

And this morning Singaporeans wake up to a shocking news:
Pop legend, Michael Jackson's death.
Aged 50 years old, he died of cardiac arrest. No idea what that is but it certainly is a day the entertainment industry will never forget. I find it funny how, when he dies, people start talking of all the good things about him. But even when he have passed on hours ago, popular bloggers like Perez Hilton made fun of it. Real douchebags. Thanks to his comments, he's lost 1 million twitter followers. Anyway, MJ has been an inspiration to the world and especially to global artists. I have heard of attempts he have made to record new material for release in the coming years but I doubt that such a thing is going to happen. His most recent recording works was the 25th Thriller Anniversary album which he re-worked his all time hit songs with artists like will.I.am, Fergie, Kanye West and Akon. He's performed a song together with Britney before. I saw the video, it was damn good.

MST in 3 more days exactly and I haven't completed a single module revision. I am asking for trouble myself. Really screwed this time. Gonna chiong for the whole weekends. Think I will go row in the morning a while. Not going for training the whole week feels weird. Seniors are back. My team will officially be down together for training from next Saturday onwards. :/

My harddisk holds 47.9GB of music and 109GB of videos. And I thought 360GB would be greatly enough for me. Haha.

I've finally watched Tranformers 2!! The movie I've been wanting to watch since November last year. Lol. The movie is real good. A hell lot of battle scenes. Sideswipe is the coolest fighting Autobot machine. The Autobot twins are damn cute fighters. They keep quarrelling over the slightest things. Lol. Michael incorporated quite a number of funny scenes for this action-packed movie. Real good. Why didn't Soundwave come down to Earth and help his Decepticons comrades. Zz. Weird. Oh well, transformers 3 is set to be released on July 2012. 3 years later wtf.

Farhan

Energy Never Dies

2009-06-09T23:26:00.004+08:00

The E.N.D. ..
.. just rocks socks.
Changed blog song to something more upbeat from B.E.P. - PUMP IT HARDER !

Well that's what I feel. GOOOOOOOOOD party album. Haha. And Eugene would go "There goes Farhan and his music shit again". LOl. Problem is I wanna buy their CD to support em but I am damn broke. And.. Mariah's new single for her new album out next Tuesday! Titled 'Obsessed'. Can't wait.

Yes I am on personal financial crisis. Haha. So Lex got me this job wif Jun Yin and Alex. We're gonna be gay shitz for 4 days. $200 dollars. WOOT.

Some pictures taken recently:

Nothing much these few days except trainings and more trainings. I remembered hitting my ball with 2 people's head - Denise (At club house) and Yu Xiang (During drive in shooting). LOL. Accidentally sia. Both were quite angry for a while. But come to think of it, quite suay. Haha. 2 heads in 1 day.

Watched Terminator Salvation because of free movie tickets. 'Shared' the ticket with JY. So now I dun have anymore Cathay movie passes. Only got GV ones but they are in my mom's drawer. Need to find a good excuse to make her give me. Hehe. Like I can't wait for Transformers 2 movie to be out too.

Happy Birthday to LEE HAO and DERRICK !!

One turn 18 and the other turns 19. Went out today with them both. They got their presents. Haha. They should like em. :)

Seniors have headed to Taiwan for their competitions. Wish them all the best and hope they win like really ownage in their respective categories. :)

Might be seeing CWSS sec 5 batch 2009 tmr at SP. Been so long since I see em. They've grown. Haha. Vividly remember the time when I took their class for orientation when they were just sec 1s.

Farhan

Term 1 breaks starting

2009-05-31T22:46:00.002+08:00

I'll be frank.

I'm damn afraid for my lab test on Wednesday which is a 4 hour slot of lab tests. "OMFG" The servo module is gonna hit me real hard. So that's why I skipped today's training. And am thinking of skipping tuesday's too. Heading to gym tomorrow. Nevermind I shall see how the situation is first. Haha.

Term break comes right after next week. Sounds quite relaxing right ? But there's trainings and studies to juggle. Oh my godd please don't fail me for this first term's test.

"The E.N.D." fuckin leak now please. Lol. I'm impatient to listen to that.

Watched Terminator Salvation already. It's an awesome movie. But the storyline is quite confusing for me. Go watch it guys.

Last monday was the day I received an interesting piece of truth. Fucking interesting. Sorry for the profanities. I really get it now.

Changed blog song to 'Missing You'. It's Black Eyed Peas mania for me this few weeks. This track is damn good. Fergie's vocals are great on this song. woots.

My training for this week shall be unstable UNTIL my lab tests are over. I don't care. And and I finally managed to get a full good rest/sleep today. I can't wait for water training on Wednesday. But my right hand still hurts not because of gym, but the strain.

Chilled with Wei jie and Su Maw a few days back. It's great to be back with old friends. Haha. Not old literally. Seeing a whole lot on Thursday for dinner! I'm gonna Sakura for the first time in my life. -.- Okay I know I'm that pathetic. Pardon me.

:]

Farhan

Exhausted since Saturday

2009-05-25T22:00:00.003+08:00

"zzZZzzzZz"

I can wake up late tomorrow. Yippe. My mind told me I shouldn't have come for yesterday's training. But well I came. I couldn't row as normal. My arms were exhausted. So I only had one aim in my mind yesterday and that was too sprint back each time there's a changeover. No matter how tired I was. Afterall, I played 'outside' and not in-zone for yesterday. I believe I used 90% of whatever energy that I possessed yesterday. But really, I was tired. Me and Hafi were like having the same facial expression. haha! I really strongly believe sleep is most important for me.

I just thought of something in the bus just now. Back when I was a leader in secondary school, whenever I lead, I always listened to everyone's opinions whenever anyone raises it. I always tried to make it such that everyone is heard. In this measly place I'm in though, I am not heard at all most of the time.I have tried several times to voice out and in fact help but was just ignored. Hmm. I'm a person with opinions. I think I'm doomed. Unfair. Unimportant. So sudden but when I thought of it, I was like, "Shit, it happened to me". Sad issue.

Okay. I know I throw ball like shit. Really fucktardly slow. Few weeks back I practised a little on aiming the holes when paddles are up and succeeded a little. I guess things don't work that way. Speed in shooting is the key. I will certainly visualise and be better.
I'm secretly getting competitive. It's not obvious but yeah. :)

OOP test on Friday was a killer for me. I want to study properly one of these days.

Lots of singles release these days. 'New Divide', 'Battlefield' and 'I Gotta Feeling' were the new 'Womanizer' for me this week. Aqua is getting back together and releasing a greatest hits with 3 new songs. I already have the first single titled 'Back To The 80s'. It's a good first song after so many years gone. Ask from me if you want it.
'I Gotta Feeling', Black Eyed Peas 2nd single off their new album. I've sent some to my friends and most agreed that it isn't as good as 'Boom Boom Pow'. I think it's a cool song. Haha. Single cover for it:

And I went a little 'wtf' at this:

'Radar', a song from Blackout(2007) is Britney's 4th Single. Zz. Above is the official single cover. Expect to hear it in radios real soon.

Alright, done here. Time to play that Aqua 'Greatest Hits' album. :)

Farhan

.New Divide - Linkin Park

2009-05-19T07:00:00.003+08:00

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen lead single from Linkin Park!
New Divide.

Anyone wants a download link ? Haha. :]
Btw, the song is damn good.

Farhan

Bacckk from camp and feeling funny

2009-05-18T23:52:00.002+08:00

Yep.
feeling sick today.
Hmm.

Canoe camp's over. Being a logistic sucks seriously. I don't ever want to do it again. No fun. I've been walking up and down the slope to business block like it's some toilet routine for 3 days. The 3rd day was worse. aaaaargh.

Buck up. That's wad I want to do. I really want. In them both. :]

There's Eminem and Green Day to last me for a month till Black Eyed Peas' 'T.H.E. E.N.D.' comes out. Plenty of music these few days. And Jordin Sparks has an awesome first single. :)

I'm still tired and feeling a little warm here and there. Needa rest more.

hoho.
Scholl starts lateee tomorrow.

Farhan

that's ..

2009-05-12T23:20:00.002+08:00

..exactly wad I feel but in a very different direction from yours. I don't feel regretful or guilty (for whatever) after you've said to us. It never ends for me. I need to break it out - soon.

I know my life in poly is rubbish.
"if only you could be as hardworking in your studies".
That particular line I heard today. Struck me again. Just how fugly have I been in doing things ?
Very.
I want to let people know that I'm more than this. I know that I am more than this. More than just a follower.
Just one day.

Farhan

Suddenly

2009-05-02T22:40:00.003+08:00

That something struck upon me. Is that the reason why I lost it all ? Is that the reason why I'm so lost ever since then ?

Lol.

Funny how it takes another person to say it for you to realize it.

And now, what do I do ?

Farhan

Helllo to SPC 2009. (Haha)

2009-04-26T22:09:00.004+08:00

Imma do something different with this post.
No music and rants! haha.
I'll let you in on my polo teammates.
o.O
Since I've just received lots of pictures of them taken during the competition..
:]

First up is me! #7! Farhan. Lol. Likes to fondle with ball upon receiving it. Still training and trying harder where my strength can bring me. Ain't giving up easily. :]

#4! Joko. Lol. Crapster. Really. Sometimes, he'd be the only reason why we'd laugh after training.

#8! Alex. Chi-ind! Shoots cannon but aimless balls. (Still in training) LOl.

#9! Jun Yin. Our one and only keeeeper. Be wary. Can get real high at random times. o.O

#10! Chong Yuan. Has 2 brothers in SPCT. Him being the 2nd. His youngest bro is quite goood. :]

#2! Hafi. Another crapster - but not on purpose kind. Inquisitive at all times. Hmm.

#6! Yi Xiang. Friends for 12 years already. Lol. Knew him to be a weird sleeper during dinner after training.

#3! Arif. Team captain. Friends for 6 years already. Loves to capsize a lot. Don't know why. Haha.

Okay. Nice slant. And err I can't help laughing when I look at Gao Xiang's face please. Seriously, wad a face pose. And Hafi.. Zzz. Haha.

I forgot why we clapped. Haha. But yeah. It was for something good. :]

Some random shit.

Farhan

David Guetta makes great club jams..

2009-04-21T23:30:00.003+08:00

Finally leaked!
Awesome track!
:]

Farhan

The second last day of 'sweet' holidays

2009-04-19T00:27:00.006+08:00

School re-opening in 1 more day.
You wouldn't want me to repeat that right ?
SEMESTER 1.
2009.
It's all brand new once again.

And it's up to me how I'm going to handle this semester. :)

5 new singles out:
- Patron Tequila by Paradiso Girls
- Know Your Enemy by Green Day
- It's Alright, It's OK by Ashley Tisdale
- Must Be Love by Cassie
- We Made You by Eminem

Awaiting album leaks next week from Eminem and Ciara and Green Day. April's going to end well. :]

Have a look at Black Eyed Peas album cover:

Arh and Transformers 2 is gonna be 4 minutes longer than the first one! Look at the size of Bumblebee and the size of the Decepticon he is fighting against:

SPCPOC 2009 have just ended. And we took a group shot together. Got this from Gracie's photo album. Heee.

Digging Day 26's 'Imma Put It On Her" first single at the moment!

And last but nt least, I got myself a new havainass!

Farhan

Don't let it stop you

2009-04-14T23:42:00.003+08:00

Team talk last Sunday.
SPCPOC ended.
Normal trainings resumed.
Pathetically, paddling strokes have been corrected.
But still I'm the slowest.
Lack of mental drive.

It's the period again where I'm going thru stuff both at school and at home.
"I just cope" as Britney says it.
I am honestly immune to scoldings already. Like why did Jackson suddenly scold me when Wei Chen was nice enough to push me juz now. I have no idea really. I'll take it positively. I feel sometimes like I'm innocently wronged. And when I don't want certain things to be known and when things are going on almost fine something sudden will happen. Like in game or during training. It sucks being the slowest. It's actually depressing. The truth as to why I don't really ask ? I believe action speaks more louder. If I can do it and show the seniors that I can then there's no mouth activity needed. So that is why I am desperately trying to be better on water now. And I thought I just got out of my lowest moments a month ago. I don't want to enter in it again. School's starting next week already.

I should stop deluding myself that everything is fine. It is not fine. Everyone can smile but not me. In fact if you are my good friend enough, you will realise how much I force myself to laugh to make myself feel like everythings fine.

Ashley Tisdale and Cassie tracks leaked! High quality Itune rips too! Holy. Ashley's first single is great. So I put it as my blog song. Lol. I think it is good. It's premiered on US radios like today. If you don't know who she is, she is the Pink clad girl in High School musical movies.

I'm prepared for muscleache mania tomorrow morning. Going to hospital with my mom tmr. Wishing that her pain won't be so bad after the treatment.

Watched The Unborn with teammates last Sunday. 10 bucks for a dumb movie. Murder me please. Waste money. Haha.

Alright, mind's written out. I'mma go get a little rest.

Farhan

2 m o v i e s 2 d a y s

2009-04-09T22:18:00.003+08:00

Watched last night and this afternoon:

Farhan

Body Language.

2009-04-07T23:26:00.003+08:00

..begging to If You Seek Amy
Crookers remix rocks.
Check it out on my blog ipod. :]

Beat TP's year 1 team ass off. *Endorphins released never stopped* We are no kick urh ? Haha. fucktards. WHAHAHAHAHAHA. I sound damn arrogant please. I am not that mean lar. hee jus kidding :) It was a fun match. I have a great team on water. But it was a little more challenging against Steam. I blame myself so much for my stamina. I coudln't even last for 3 minutes. How disappointing. CHILL. I'm now focused to be better. Starting with my sprinting. I WILL BE BETTER. hmph.

I am a freaking Diglett ! I expected to be a Cydaquil or something. That pokemon is the cutest fire pokemon. Haha. Geez. Just some random facebook thingy.

Open champs ending this week. Then it will back to normal trainings. And for all we know, the freshies will start to come in. We have to start planning for Canoe camp already. Sounds quite fun right ? I hope it will be fun. Haha.

I am putting high hopes for Britney to come to Asia for a tour. lol. She's negotitating to come to Australia and might be doing an european leg tour. And I believe Singapore is included in European region ? Got me excited alreadyy.

Changed blog song to Eminem's first single. Not something amazing but the song is quite funny and irritating. Something you don't hear on radios at the moment. :]

Farhan

Rock steady !

2009-04-02T20:22:00.003+08:00

happy happy happy sad sad.
every week is like that for me.

Bad news received. Will try my best to overcome the situation. I just hope it wouldn't be as challenging as how I see it on channel 8 dramas. (but frankly I hate the fact that my mind have to constantly worry)

Canoe opens going on for the 2nd week now. Went to Han Long's blog and saw a whole list of comments written under Alvin Lee's facebook main title thing. Lol sia. I read until confused a little. Mixture of good and bad comments about him. I think I know who Gracie is but I wonder why she is bent on like 'condemning' him. Lol. Quite a facebook drama amongst the senior canoe polo players. Juniors like me just watch and enjoy the commotion. :]

My personal savings going on fine now. Supposed to go out today but didnt. Good thing. Saved money. LOl. Don't look at me like that. I'm damn broke this holidays. I swear after this whole competition thingy, I will be going shopping for new clothes. LoL. No wait, I can't. :(

And ermm wtf, my whole back is aching! Because 3 weeks never do pull up aleady. =.=
Eh but seems like recovering for more than 2 days! SHIT. I can't even raise up my hands to shampoo my hair la. Please please please recover by this Saturday! I want to play with the team against TPEACE. Omg please please. *Starts spamming that muscle recovery drink* Lol.

3 more weeks to school starting. We now don't need to install XP in our laptops! The school environment can now be installed in our Vista laptops! Like finally.. BUT TOO FREAKING LATE. Windows 7 coming by the end of this year. Imma go and book an appointment to install that shit on my Vista soon before the crowd gets worse. :]

Changed blog song: Unusual You. Bloodshy & Avant production. They create awesome music for Britney seriously. And I'm really digging Flo Rida's new album 'R.O.O.T.S.' this whole week. Some of the song's on my Blog ipod. 'Jump' is way off the sky. Gooooood track. Lol. I was thinking if the song Rewind be re-sung by other artists in a slower style. That song has nice lyrics.
"REWIND! To the time when it was just me and you, Show how we were inseperable, wish I could go back to yesterday."

Farhan

Busy 'overnight-ing' week over.

2009-03-29T21:00:00.003+08:00

Yawn.
Quite tiring.
Ironic that it wasn't even a week full of trainings.

Just that I made myself involved in camps. Sports club camp just ended. I left on the 3rd day but came back on the very same day for my canoe stuff. Went back home to sleep like a dead log I swear. From 11am to 6pm. It made my Friday very short. And I stayed overnight on Friday all the way till the first day of SPCOC. Was the emcee there just announce games and stuff. Lol.

First gameplay was good. Sad I didn't get to play at all. Won't be posting the videos. Makes me feel so redundant.
Lost to 2 alumni teams today. o.O
More games coming next week. :)

Sports club camp. Hmmm. Tiring. Sleep past 3am for both nights that I was there. So sticky and stinky. Omg please. Haha. The night walk at some point, was very funny. I didn't scare people. Lol. WAS DAMN SLEEPY. Cannot stand it. Cheng Hua's face was painted black. Oh yeah and CH became a shim! 2nd time I see my classmate in women's bra. LOL. No forgetting the make up. Haha. But I missed the shim and disco night as I was with my teammates at t18 slacking. I can't sleep on top of the tables at all..

I'm kind of addicted to this song titled 'Jai Ho'. It has an indian vibe to it and with the pussycat dolls' touches to it, it sounds really good surprisingly. And the lyrics are very good too.

I got (I got) shivers (shivers),
When you touch my face,
I'll make you hot,
Give all you got,
I'll make you wanna say (Jai Ho,,Jai Ho)

I got (I got) fever (fever),
Running like a fire,
For you I will go all the way,
I wanna take you higher (Jai Ho)

I keep it steady uh-steady,
That's how I do it (Jai Ho)
This beat is heavy, so heavy,
You gonna feel it.

(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,
You are my destiny,(Jai Ho)
Jai Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!

(Jai Ho)
No there is nothing that can stop us,
Nothing can ever come between us,
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh)

Catch me, catch me, catch me, c'mon, catch me,
I want you now,
I know you can save me, you can save me,
I need you now.

I am yours forever, yes, forever,
I will follow,
Anywhere in anyway,
Never gonna let go.(jai Ho! x2)

Escape (escape) away (away),
I'll take you to a place,
This fantasy of you and me,
I'll never lose my chance. (Jai Ho)

Yeaahhhh

I can (I can) feel you (feel you),
Rushing through my veins,
There's a notion in my heart,
I will never be the same. (Jai Ho)

Just keep it burnin', yeah baby,
Just keep it comin',
You're gonna find out baby,
I'm one in a million.

You are the reason that I breathe,
You are the reason that I still believe,
You are my destiny,
Jai Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!

No there is nothing that can stop us,
Nothing can ever come between us,
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh)

Catch me, catch me, catch me, c'mon, catch me,
I want you now,
I know you can save me, you can save me,
I need you now.

I am yours forever, yes, forever,
I will follow,
Anywhere in anyway,
Never gonna let go.

I need you,
Gonna make it,
I'm ready,
So take it!

You are the reason that I breathe,
You are the reason that I still believe,
You are my destiny,
Jai Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!

No there is nothing that can stop us,
Nothing can ever come between us,
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh)

Yeah.
Flo-Rida's new album R.O.O.T.S. leaked during one of the camp nights (Due April 7th). The album is surprisngly so much better than last years release. I'm digging this track titled 'Jump' which features Nelly Furtado.

I suddenly feel like gymming. Don't know why. And I want to Dota too. Hmm.

Farhan

so depressing.

2009-03-28T21:04:00.001+08:00

It will be better tomorrow.
Subside the anger.

Farhan

Chalet and Sports camp for this week

2009-03-27T11:41:00.003+08:00

Chalet on Monday. Missed the barbeque. :(
Just got back from Sports camp to sleep a while and get back to school again later. Lol.
I'm golden colored!

Farhan

My Top 38 in Ipod as of today

2009-03-24T23:47:00.003+08:00

lol.

Farhan

Exhausting month

2009-03-15T17:45:00.002+08:00

Indeed my blog is full of Britney stuff. Hahas.

2 nights ago If U Seek Amy's video premiered. Not that wow like Womanizer though. Haha.

I am so freaking tanned noww. Trainings everyday. All in preparation for the opens coming up. Been a while since I saw my classmates too. Kind of missed year 1 a little. 18th March is coming too soon.

Coming up for me:
-Sports Club camp
-Canoe Polo Opens 09
-Chalets!

I'm not the least excited. Lol. Just feeling neutral about it all.
And I've got loads of injuries from this week's trainings. Hmmm.

'Coming Soon', which is a horror movie is really horrifying. Lol.
City hall is packed like hell at the moment.
Bought Rash Guard for training finally yesterday.
Random sentences about what I've been doing.
My sis got a new 120GB ipod. (WTF?)
My new PX100 headphones are cheapskate but GOOOOD bass audio outputs. Reccommend you guys that.
Keri Hilson's album leaked. Finally. Liked some of the songs. Will not do well though.

Where is everyone ??

Farhan

If You Seek Amy people.

2009-03-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

Ha hu he he ha ha ho !

Farhan

coz I don't care.

2009-03-12T00:18:00.003+08:00

I don't care.

I may be the weakest link around but I'm not going to give up training.
"You can talk all you want but my skin is really thick." LOL.
On a serious note I am not letting anything discourage me further. Seniors and teammates can say whatever they want. I can't believe I'm on my own though :(. I will definitely improve tremendously in due time.
These have got to be the lowest part of my life in 19 years. I will cope to my best.

Training everyday! of course its very tiring. Today was the worse training day. No energy to pass properly wdf. It doesn't help when your teammate keeps reprimanding you - it does not fucking help. My thumb is swollen and I don't know whyy.
I am more tanner than you guys saw me! haha.

All I ever wanted is to enjoy and do well. But nowadays I feel that maintaining friendships are even harder than drinking water.

Farhan

Reminisce (again)

2009-03-07T22:37:00.001+08:00

I read back my old entries especially last year's.
I miss the old days.
I can't help but to stupidly say it over and over again. :\

Farhan

The Circus Tour 2009.

2009-03-05T20:41:00.004+08:00

Just look at how hot she looks. Try giving me a reason to hate her. Lol.
Tour commenced 3rd March 2009.
Greatness.
f***. She better come to Singapore for a concert. I'll beg. Lol.

"It's Britney bitch*"

Farhan

If You Seek Amy

2009-02-27T09:43:00.001+08:00

If You Seek Amy's official single cover. Awesome. Blast it from my radio! :]

Farhan

boom boom pow!!!

2009-02-23T20:33:00.005+08:00

o.O

Black Eyed Peas new single is titled 'Boom boom pow!!!'. Will be putting it up on my blog ipod soon. :]

2 new album leaks:

Kelly 's 'All I Ever Wanted'.
Loud but good. Good songs inside. Thanks to Norway Itune's error that we got this early. Supposed to be out on March 6th. Lol. Will get a copy to make up for the early leak. Listen to em in my blog ipod.

Been waiting for this one since November. It didn't really leak. Just that it was released in Australia earlier so there we have it. Asia is always slow so you can't blame me for downloading it. The new beats are good. Turned out way better than I expected.

Spent quite a lot yesterday.

Bought my Havaianas finally. 40 dollars even after the 20% off. It's a gold color flipflop and they said it wasn't a normal version so it was a little pricey. Lol. I'm liking it's new rubbery texture. My red one is dirty and it stinks. Lol.
Bought Red Alert 3 - Premier edition. LOL. I liked the standard game in WC3 so I thought this would be fun too. :]

Exchanged my Ipod headset for a new one as its faulty. At first, they were like trying to believe what I was saying. I was getting a little pissed when they could not find the problem with the left side of the speaker. Eventually they did and thank god. I hate the service of the other chinese guy though. He ignored me a lot when I tried to say something. Goddamnit.

I never exercised at all omg - 3 weeks. Latest that I know is that there's a friendly against national girls team this Saturday. Training on Friday FINALLY. I feel damn excited and I really miss paddling. Stamina gone. Have to build it up again. The best period to catch up like hell right after Thursday.

Farhan

1/3 done.

2009-02-17T22:53:00.002+08:00

DE paper done.
Maths coming up this Thursday.

A week after my birthday. 19 and 7 years officially. Damn old. Darn! Haha. Thanks to all those who were with me last Tuesday. Appreciate it all. :)

Canoe chalet coming up.. Honestly I missed paddling. I feel so guilty not going for training for 2 weeks already. Omg. I got a whole lot of catching up to do on water. So toasted please.

Got myself the new Apple in-ear headset. A whopping $121. I was prepared to take the risk after reading online reviews. A few said it sucked and all but most said it was a good upgrade from the previous one. I think I can finally hear it for myself now. It certainly is a huge upgrade from the previous one. It is better in sound and I would recommend this to any ipod user who likes in-ear headsets. Don't expect your 'Love in This Club' to be bass heavy like the ones in the clubs though, the bass is just nice and isn't wow-ing (for the bass-demanding listeners).

"I was there before. I certainly know how it felt. :|"

Year one officially ends next Thursday. Goodness. Exactly a year ago, I would be out with Arif and Rozand at this time. Hmm.

Farhan

A little bit on T2 and on my stuff. :]

2009-02-12T23:08:00.002+08:00

Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen will be out this year on 26th June.
I'd like to show pictures of the new Autobot team here (Cool shit):

Can't wait. :]

And err my mom got me Skullcandy Hesh. My DASE mates got me a Nike shirt with my favourite 'Just Do It' print. And Nice cakes by Mei Shi they all. And a cute boxer by Su Maw. Thanks all. And the wishes too. Appreciate em all. :] And nope, I'm not going to post the youtube video here. Haha.

Farhan

BOTTLE POP.

2009-02-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

Farhan

"We'll get a chinese and watch TV"

2009-02-08T12:43:00.003+08:00

But I can't eat much of chinese food! Lol.

Stuck to Lily Allen's new CD and the song title 'Chinese' is nice. In that song she is referring to chinese food for relaxation while watching TV. Her album is reaaaal good. I even thought of putting up a download link to her album here but nah I won't. Haha. There's song directed to George Bush which is titled 'Fuck You', to God which is 'Him'. It's real good.

Went studying with Lee at esplanade with his friends. Eugene can't keep still. Lol. Figured out something for structured for about 2 hrs before I started facebook for about an hour too. Lol. I think facebook is so much more fun than friendster. Haha. I even set the facebook panel up on my Xperia right away. Lol. After eugene and friends left for dinner, we stayed a while longer before we decided to go. Headed to NUM at citylink to look at the Havaianas Trekking edition - a 2007 model. But they don't have the masculine version which I saw online. Damn. And the boring plain colored ones (Blue, green and white) are priced at $49.90. There was a 20% weekend sale for this week which will be 40 dollars if I had bought it. I didn't buy it. Lol. Too expensive for something that simple. I'll keep scouting. And then went to Toys'r'Us to acc Lee buy his sister the barbie doll she wanted for her birthday. LOL. No la not barbie doll. He got a Rubrik cube for his sis. Haha.

And went back to Citylink to MRT but stopped by HMV to look at Skullcandy Skullcrusher and Hesh there. At that time, I know nuts about Skullcandy. I just thought they looked uber nice. They were priced around $120 but Hesh is priced at $80 only at website. I think they sell it more expensive at HMV. I'm gonna check out Cyberactive Yishun.

I was damn keen to get one Skullcandy and I don't know why. Like seriously. I went back last night and got on to researching about these cool headphones. These are what I found out:
- Skullcandy officially came to Singapore only this year. The brand was already heard of back in late 2007 and there were people who wanted it but was not available in Singapore yet.
- A year ago there were a lot of complaints on Customer Service being the worse that customers have ever received and shipment arrival was late all the time when they ordered. This problem were faced by overseas customers lol.
- These headphones are unique DJ style headphones and according to the reviews, 80% commented on the good sound bass it produced and recommended it to everyone. 20% kept saying it was not worth and suggest that people go buy Sennheiser instead. Hmmm. However 100% said that the headphones were comfortable on ears.
- The headphones break easily if it not taken care of properly. o.O
- 50% off coupon on any products can be claimed if headphones break accidentally.

I'm looking at SC Skullcrusher, Hesh and TI :

"!!!"

Ah and before I forget, had lunch with Jerome and Shaun and Kelvin at FC6 a few days back and Jerome thought that the past tense of wank was wong. What the. And just 2 nights ago he spelled freethinker as free tinkle. LOL. That was funny shitz.

And now, back to reading up that For-loop slides. Zz.

Farhan :]

Wishlist

2009-02-07T23:14:00.003+08:00

Skullcandy Skullcrusher. Damn beautiful. Mini subwoofer inside. Cow-a-bunga! I definitely want this for my birthday. :]

Farhan

o.O bday bday O.o

2009-02-02T21:13:00.002+08:00

2 things I noted haha:

Britney's rumored video shoot for 'If You Seek Amy' (f. u. c. k. m. e.) on 10th february!
Lily Allen's official album date worldwide is 10th february! I want that album on my birthday. Lol!

Farhan

Exhausted :/

2009-02-01T21:43:00.002+08:00

I am reallllllyyyy exhausted from yesterday's training.

First time ever that I played without substituting at all. And today I played like shit seriously. I keep blaming on my musleaches which I know is not a good thing. Lol. But I know I tried my best alrdy (THATS NOT MY BEST AAAARGH).

But really, I'm tired. My back hurts a lot and I don't know why.

Farhan

No exercise or anything - rot. Lol

2009-01-27T20:49:00.002+08:00

Ok.
Bottomline - it was a complete slack these 3 days.

I had planned to run 12km behind my house this morning. But I woke up at 11am and didn't feel like going out. Lol.

During these 3 days I downloaded a total of 500 songs to my laptop. Mixed old and new. The 100 exclusive remixes I downloaded took up 1GB of space. But they are hell good remixes. Enough to last a club for a week. I got hooked to Poker Face remixes.

There's Lil Wayne's single to listen to but it's fugly. LOL. I mean he created an awesome rock track but his voice destroys it. I just think he's not made for rock music. Lol. Wait and see for his 'Rebirth' coming April this year.

Lilly Allen's 'The Fear' EP leaked. Well not really, just that someone bought it and shared it with the rest online. Can't help it even if it is called illegal. Singapore doesnt have Itunes store and the EP is available digitally only. SO fuck that really. And one of the song's title is 'f*** you' which is super nice track (especially the lyrics lol). It goes something like "Fuck You, Fuck You very very much". LOL. DAMN they censored the word fuck. But the leaked demo wasn't censored but had a ridiculous quality so the latter was better. The 4 track EP was good. Expecting a lot from this album. It will be out on my Birthday. But of course I will have it earlier. Anytime next week I bet. :)

Christina Aguilera has a new track for The Spirit soundtrack and it is a really nice track. 7 Mins long but it's good. Haha.

Alright enough with the music already.

CNY holidays ends today. Injuries and aches all recovered. Prepared for more aches for tomorrow's training. Gonna try and learn a new skill with Hafi tomorrow. Ah and we are buying wet suits for the first time tomorrow. I'd say white is cool. Lol but then again we are super tanned so it might not be a good matching. We shall try it out and see tomorrow.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't have white hair. Haha! These recent 3 weeks, I've been worried and scared. It's been ugly really. But like I said, I cope with it. :)

I had a few moment of thought 2 nights ago before I slept. I stupidly felt disappointed but I keep telling myself I know my own limits. Forgot to mention my mum have given me the green light to quit religious class. that was the last thing in my life that keep me connected to my own religion apart from prayers of course. Since young, I've always had classes and it was consecutively on every year. I have mixed feeling knowing that I'm quitting it. I hope I won't stray away. Haha I know I won't.

The Wedding Game movie is not nice.. Haha..

Few trainings back Wei Liang said I should eat dinner often with them and bond. And I told him "We are already bonded enough what". Lol. He said " Where got". I didn't know wad to think when he said that. It was true that I've not fully bonded with my own team yet. People may see me as being anti social and such. Haha. Honest truth ? I'm not. Oh come on. People who knows me can vouch for me. I did fine with my DASE classmates but for canoe polo friends, hmm a little problem for me. Lol. I seriously just don't know why. It's just like that. Just so anyone would know: I can go on talking ublynonsense stuff for almost 6 hrs straight please. But even when I'm quiet during trainings, I observe - like a lot. Lol. During game and after game whatever it is. Bottomline - I have my own reasons as to why I don't go out after trainings tgt often. Lol.
And Wei Liang says that my hand looks retarded (as in literally) when I try to shoot a ball. Hmm.

A lot of thoughts unsaid.

Farhan

I stayed at home

2009-01-26T13:09:00.006+08:00

A little different with this post.
Let the posters and covers do the talking.
These were the things that kept me entertained since yesterday.

Watched:

Listened to:

Will be going out for a movie later - The Wedding Game. Lol. Happy CNY all.

Farhan

ifUseekthis

2009-01-20T22:47:00.001+08:00

What the hell was I thinking ?

Inevitable.

2009-01-16T20:18:00.001+08:00

It was short.
It was fun. Awesome friends met.
And it's really ended.
What a decision made.

My Life Would Suck..

2009-01-15T21:16:00.004+08:00

..like this. Lol.

3 on 3's jus ended. Sad I couldn't play that much. It was all for the best of the team. Sounds like I drag m team down hor ? Don't get it wrong. Talking about it would just make me feel more angry so lets just say it's ended and that's that. 6th place. Done. Shh.

It's unofficial but yeah, I've stopped one major committment - like permanently. It's sad. No no I'm really sad. But people say I deserve it and scold me and say about me for taking up so much. Thinking I would do well in all. I had high hopes for myself. I took things for granted. I really wanted to excel in all 3. But I never did. Not 1. For that, it's been bothering me a lot. And so I also found someone having almost the same problem as me. As much as I wanted to help, I couldn't say much. I'm in a hot soup myself.

They want to see me, but they don't talk to me and they don't know anything about me. That's what I thought. So many things in my mind and this is going to be a difficult month for me. I'm pressed to do better for 2 things. If I am ever never going to succeed for these, I will really feel damn down - like really down as I'm already telling myself not to give up at all currently. I have said too much.

I may be all smiles. I may be listening to music calmly. Deep down though, I was never happy - never ever.

New Kelly Clarkson. Confirm a radio hit.

I'm turning 19 real soon. 19 - like wow ? Start behaving like a 19 year old already ? Lol. I should. What's a proper 19 year old character like ? Get a girlfriend like soon ? Lol.

Forgot to mention too that I'm on Windows 7 Beta. Not bad. Lol. Kind of lazy to say more but yeah, if you want to try the beta yourself, go to: www.windows7.com

School tomorrow. Tomorrow's going to be a little slow-paced and less stressful for me. Not that I need it. I want it. :)

Farhan

2nd week of 2009.

2009-01-04T19:34:00.002+08:00

A different vibe felt already.

2009's very unpredictable for me. That's what I think. Haha

Got back from polo 3-on-3 seniors competition. It was exciting for them. Especially during the finals between Lloyd's team and NP's team. I saw Yao Guang there lol. Anyway it was initially 3-0 and then it became 3-3. I felt that SP was too complacent when they knew they were leading. I thought that was bad. SP won eventually, with the golden goal. Amazing game. Me and my mates were a little nervous nearing the end of the game too - for what I also have no idea. Haha.

And next week, it would be the junior's category.
Exciting.

Went out to Wisma and made some customized shirts from Nike store. Shaun's designs are nicer. Zz. Haha. My font color and type is not that appealing but yeah not that ugly too though. i'm going to make a red and white one soon. Its 50 dollars per tee o.O

Ciara's new first single is cool. I like this kind of groovy slow R&B slongside urban and Britney's pop. I figure out this song will be oout like a month later in Singapore and by that time, I'll be sick of the song already. I always had that. Haha. Oh well.

There's nothing interesting to mention of this few weeks. CNY coming up. It's going to be a boring day. Hmm.

Farhan

I accept.

2009-01-03T00:36:00.002+08:00

I accept..

..all of the wrong ways that I have led myself with last year. I realise it all and I will learn - more than anyone around me I hope. I've got 3 major things to focus in my life last few months unlike my friends. I daresay. It's alright, it's fine. This won't hinder me anymore from whatever I wan right now. I understand that my new stand might make me regret in the future after poly life. I will try not to fret. Bottomline: I will cope.

2009's arrived.

Farhan

School starting. Holiday week. New gizmo. :p

2008-12-27T13:28:00.003+08:00

I cannot believe 3 weeks ended just like that.
Hmmm.

Went out with Shaun and entered HMV. The bonus tracks were tempting so I bought the Deluxe edition still. Lol. I've got their albums since their first mainstream one. This is their 3rd good album. I don't know what I'm saying. Lol. A good $18.95:

o.O
Went out on Christmas and Mum bought PS3. Woots. Lesson learnt: Never to sell my playstation no matter how bored I am with it. I remembered selling my PS2 which was only 2 months old. So so dumb of me. Bought NFS Undercover and Metal Gear Solid 4. Omg NFS looks so damn good. Lol. Haven't touch MGS 4 yet. I'm not going to spend money on 1st hand games that often. Lol. Blardy expensive please. Anyone got good 2nd hand PS3 games ? Lol. I'll buy good RPG games. On lookout for cheap but good condition Call of Duty 5. :)

Twilight movie was damn goood. I never knew vampires could be portrayed so cool. With that, I have decided to read on the twilight book series. So I bought 'New Moon' on my way to SYFC that day. Still at the first few pages. Haha

'Circus' is still on heavy rotation in my Ipod. Lol. Awaiting the 3rd single news.

I think I've made my stand in my committment issue. But I am so damn afraid I have made the wrong choice. No wait, I really think I have made the wrong choice. But who can change my mind right ? I pray and hope I do not regret in the future. Shall see circumstances.

And frankly I've been enjoying my polo trainings although it's real sad I can't come often. I am damn pleased with myself last night. Don't care wht you think lol but I was able to dip underneath the middle of a boat. WOOTS. I usually only had the strength to dip at the side of opponent's boat but I can do it in the middle now. Gosh. That's pretty motivating. Haha.
Time to give my best for the upcoming important events. :)

Wowow I'm totally spekaing my mind.

Farhan

Merry Christmas ya'all.

2008-12-25T11:54:00.001+08:00

Farhan

I'm pretty busy with..

2008-12-23T22:11:00.002+08:00

Canoeing and SYFC.

Yes I dare admit that. Haha.

I was a little unstable last week and have missed out on a lot of things. But I decided that I'll probably trudge through. One thing will eventually have to stop at the end. Like I have been frank with my friends that I have feeling I'm going to be dropped from SYFC. I've given it my all frankly. Studying for each flight the night before the due flights. Pretty stressful you know. Like tomorrow is my sortie 4. o.O I can't believe I endured all the shitz. Haha. And I was trying to memorise the after-start checks (Lemme recall): Throttle set to 1200RPM, fuel pressure rising within 30 secs, fan on, comms 1 and 2 on, ADF on, Transponder on standby mode, dead cut check, ammeter indicating, suction gauge 5-6 inches, AH, DI, Turn coordinater and after all of that, do the R/T call. Is that it ? I didn't refer to anything. Was looking at the book while watching the Nonya show too. Lol.

Barbeque with the peeps last night. Too much foood bought. Haha. Hosted at Kenny's house. Mini gathering. Was tired and smelly when we went home. Pictures coming when Jenn's shared them with me.

Got myself Fall Out Boy's 'Folie A Deux' CD at HMV. Not a bad album. Been buying their albums since their first one that's why.

Ergh supper's arrived. Lazy to continue typing. Haha. Will continue after training tomm. :P

Farhan

I just..

2008-12-17T18:18:00.002+08:00

..want to go out and chill all day long. I don't want to think of anything else. I want peace and more peace (of my mind).

Blasting 'Womanizer' has been a daily routine for me since September.

Farhan

flying is not easy..

2008-12-12T00:53:00.003+08:00

I still remember clearly when I had the impression that being a pilot was a common goal among guys here. Indeed it is.
70% of any guys who are still studying that you meet in Singapore will have a common dream to be a pilot. And I find it kind of boring already. Lol.

And how many of the people know how hard it is to be a successful pilot ? Lemme give u a revised summary of it: out of 200 'students' taken by RSAF every year, only 30 will make it to be a confirmed pilot trainee. o.O

And there me and my friends were in secondary school, wanting to make flying career a true dream. Yes that was my dream indeed. But looking at circumstances now, I've list out a number of options for myself. hehe.

Being in SYFC is a golden opportunity. You get a real taste of being a young pilot trainee. But for me, it isn't anything similar to rowing a boat in the pool or throwing a polo ball into the net. Polo may be physically demanding but flying is so bloody mental demanding. You HAVE TO have a quick-thinking mind. And you may say it's almost similar to driving. No way bro. Control is not equal to steering wheel.

Why I'm saying all of these is because my 2 sorties have been horrible. The 2nd was not as good as the first one. He keeps saying I give him the impression of being unprepared all the time. Actually half true. I am damn prepared but the moment we are on air.. his attitude to teaching becomes like @$%#@$%!%$. How do I focus with his pressurising instructions ? Lol. Do this do that all at one go. Yes multi tasking is important. Looking at fuel and gas gauges. RPM readings. Vertical speed indicator to be considered when pitching and such. Oh and the bloooooody G-force when pitching down with a huge swerve.

Adding on to my nervous sweat in the air is my non-complying body with the sky. I don't feel good after 30 mins on air. Hmmmmm. Like I get motion sickness each time he turns. And each time I cock up my trimming procedure, I feel even worse. Looking down at macritchie reservoir and seletar and woodland areas. Gosh so tiny. And then I truly realise how small Singapore is. I could see causeway bridge and johor bahru and on the right side I could see the next end of Singapore already. Quite interesting actually.

Goh CL made me do every single thing and allowed me to see from the book as a guide along the way. I think that's quite good. Although again he keeps scolding zz. Anyway the radio calls are like damn FUGLY. Because the tower people speak suuuuuper soft. At some point you just feel like replying: "Fark la. can't you speak slower and louder than this." It's on broadcasting channel mind you so yeah you have to be careful of what you say. And so I didnt manage to do my calls properly mainly because I can't catch up with what they say. At times I just feel like laughing.

Bottomline: I am getting a bad feeling about my performance in SYFC. Lol. It's not that I'm lousy or lazy but just that the demands are pretty tough. I'll trudge through. See how far I can go. I did tell people about my recent 2nd sortie but they just keep saying how much I must keep trying and treasure this opportunity. The thing is I do treasure this opportunity and I do try my utmost best. They don't understand how tough it is to stay on. Lol. Our fate all lie in the hands of the instructor taking us. Like I see Wong CC chopping off like hell lot of students already. Haha.

And yes I went for polo still right after the flying thingy. It was a horrible feeling actually after landing. Thought of going home but I know I said I would come so I had to. Had a short training and yeah my right thumb is still in pain. Swollen. Zzzz.

And I didnt want to stay at home all the way today so I went to school for a little basketball. Zzz. Upon reaching, I actually wanted to sit and chill around rather than to play. Dunno why. Went to the new JP after that and go home.

I'm like totally addicted to Starbuck frapuccino now. Starbucks now open at JP. Oooh.

How's Quicksand by Britney ? Haha. I think it's not too bad a slow song. And congrats to her for selling 505k CDs in 1 week. :p

I met Alan on bus today. It's been so long. Way long. I still remember NCC days. He was my CLT. He asked about me and a few of my friends. Haha. And I asked him about Jun Jie. True enough Jun Jie was from SP canoe polo team too! How come he doesn't come back. If he comes back weekly like other alumnis I would definitely ask him to personally impart his skills to me. HAHA. I'll ask him if I meet him one day. But really, it's been so long. I could just reminisce those trainings.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaargh."

Farhan

Injury..

2008-12-08T07:29:00.003+08:00

Wha lao..
Before training even started..
I got injured..
&#&#$%^%$&&*!?!?*^#$

Threw balls with Wei Liang for a while and he suggested throwing a fast one while I attempt to catch it. Of course I didn't succeed. Lol. So.. the fast ball smacked my right thumb like damn hard. Like damn pain pleasee. I knew it at once I sprained it. And I went like "Wtf ? I am so screwed during ball passing later." True enough during cross passing, I can't catch the ball and there was one senior alumni who gave a super speeding ball.. LIKE THANKS LA. Lol. I was stunned pleasee. OW. Oh and the joint is swollen now. Lolol. I don't know why I'm laughing in pain. Haha.

And o.O Chong Yuan's expressed his opinions. Hmmm. Well what he said was true so no comments. But actually I wasn't happy only at one thing. Not what he said but .. ergh. Btw Why the hell do both brothers look at me when they are talking about the whole team. Nabei. Made me feel like I'm the one who does all the wrong things. It's true that we need to train together. And omfg he pin pointed me as rarely come for training! Kidding. Haha. I told him if I didn't come, I always have something on and that is why. Point taken. And Wei Liang, Arif and Hafi should know that.

I'm like being stressed down with certain things now. Like Jerren tells me to stop canoe and think about my future carrier with SYFC and like Shaun telling me to quit canoe to focus on my studies and SYFC and like a comment I heard from one of the year 3 seniors that I should go fly an aeroplane and no need come polo anymore. And like I heard Adam last time say that I should quit SYFC to focus on polo. Wow.

Firstly, I enjoy the sport I've just gotten into. Since secondary school, I've always wanted to join a school team sport. Canoe polo is just cool for me. SYFC is a golden opportunity for me. Even being the last in the batch, I've learnt quite a lot. For those of you who wants to be a pilot: IT'S NOT SIMPLE I SWEAR. You may get an 'A*' for theory but up in the air, it's totally different. As for my studies, Physics HAVE NEVER been my thing. My close fren should know that. But I will TRY MY VERY BEST of course. So I really don't what to do exactly now. I've got 3 weeks to think through. After 3 on 3, I'm considering a temporary break from water trainings. That is very bad but.. As for SYFC, I don't even want to think of being phased out. Well if you guys think it's easy for me to choose the best for myself, it's not. But hell I do appreciate your concern seriously. I could do with some help.

And it's like I notice people changing - including myself. And it's like I don't really enjoy school nowadays. Poly's fun because of the 'no-restrictions' thingy.

Went Sentosa on Saturday with my class guys. Just the usual people. For a short while only though. I was sick anyway. Had no appetite for the whole day actually. I didn't have dinner even when I reached home.

Oh and chihuahuas are friggin cute dogs. Yeah I watched the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie. It is good. There was one such movie about dogs and had the same storyline but just a little difference here and there which I watched when I was 7 years old. I still remember it. It displayed true friendship and loyalty to owners among dogs. Wish I could remember the title.

Oh and I've got my hands on Fall Out Boy's new album titled 'Folie A Deux' due for release next week :P. Not bad but it's just their same old sound. Catchy still. I really like Lily Allen's new single titled 'The Fear'. Will post it here when I done with Britney's Songs. Because you won't hear be hearing it on radio in Singapore soon so I can take my time. Can't wait for The All-American Reject's to leak sometime this week.

It's Hari Raya Aidiladha today. Happy celebrations.

PS: I want to let you guys see britney's 27th Birthday cake. Uber cool circus cake. I wish it could be possible for my 19th Bday in 2 months time. LOL. Look:

And look at britney's expression (Hahahaa):

Farhan

Britney's GMA Performances.

2008-12-05T09:23:00.002+08:00

This isn't a music blog - still my personal blog. Haha.
Thought that britney's performance at GMAs were stunning so I posted it here.

And I find Lily Allen's first single very very very enticing. First single apart from britney these few weeks to cacth my attention lol.

And exam ended. The whole 3 weeks to myself to do whatever I want lol. But I'm not feeling well at the moment. Luckily it's not a fever. It always have to start from a sore throat - always. So now my I'm officially having flu.

Farhan

Do you even know how I feel ?

2008-12-03T22:50:00.003+08:00

Does anyone ever know...

... how stressful this week had been for me ?
... how much I try to force the knowledge in but panic takes over me ?
... that at the very mention of tests especially when I'm done with one paper, makes my heart squelch ? Please don't do that.
... the feeling I'm having during this few weeks ?
... how sad I am with my social circle ?
... how much of a fake smile I put on my face ?

Geez.
I guess no one will ever know. It's like "I tell (show) them the way I feel, it's like they hear but they're really not listening. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. It's really bad."

('_')

Term 3's ending anyway. All the best to myself for maths tomorrow.

Farhan

I finally got my hands on..

2008-12-01T23:27:00.002+08:00

CIRCUS CD!!

And so I took a shot of it with my N95 at macdonalds right after buying it lol. It's the deluxe edition and arrived at 6pm at HMV. Lol. Like finally man. Been waiting since September.. Crazy. Album quality now wooooots. :)

Nthg to say apart from tests. Ending in 3 more days. :)

Farhan

She's the originall.

2008-11-30T22:17:00.002+08:00

She blast it.
3rd performance of the week and she killed it. It was the best she gave of the 3 days. I guess it's time for her to rest after 3 consecutive nights.
On Tuesday she will be performing Womanizer alongside Circus. (WOOOOTS)
Will put that up for you guys too. :)

Just got back from Vivo with my mateys. Studied at Starbucks. Must really...
THANK LEE HAO A LOT. For he spent almost 2 hours teaching me the adder and a little on the counter thingy. Will be going more in-depth tomorrow. :)

Checked out Music Junction only to find that Circus isn't out in stores yet. Zz. Slow singapore slow.

MST commences tomorrow. 4 day event. "and I'm ready to break". The next thing I know is that I've taken the 4 papers finish fully.

And after that, it would be training training training training training training
training training. Needa train hard already. Oh and we got new training shirt. Lol. Official scorching red singlets. 2 of it.

Hmmm nothing much to say. Nothing interesting these few days apart from Britney's live performances since 2007's - for me. :)

Farhan

First Live 'Womanizer' performance.

2008-11-29T19:40:00.003+08:00

Cool.

More to come next week.
^^

Farhan

So many things to read. Zz

2008-11-23T20:38:00.003+08:00

PEEE.
DE.
Structured Programming.

Wah lao. Catching up is one thing that I find tough. Lol. Especially DE. Crazy sia. I don't understand the adder thingy. PEEE is easier to digest but soooo many formulaes. Zzz. Managed to finish RJ4 today and it was tired typing. Racked my brains a little too for the product ideas. Me and Cheng Hua have not come to a main product idea yet but roughly some ideas.
For this semester it will be a 4 day test. Ergh.

I just recalled not getting the Haji lane pictures from Nisa when she signed in. Lol.

Forgot to mention that I met Choon Lock at my own house bus stop. Can't believe I recognise him from afar based non his walking movement. Still haven change sia that guy. Funny. Speaking of which I miss those councillor days in secondary school. Next thing for him is NS. Haha.

Gotten invitation for 2 to Velvet Underground for Britney's album party in Sg. All the people I have in mind are 17 years old.. Only 18 years old allowed. Damnit.

Now I hate tomorrow as theres a Structured Prog test.
I hate tests.
And then there is the IDEAS 4 hour lesson to start with. OMFG. And my group is kind of stuck with the student design board. I know nuts too to tell myself.

CSSPROM 08 is going on right now. Lol.
I still remember when me, Arif, Wei Jie, Luther and Darren stayed overnight at Sentosa after prom. Lol.

The phone featured in the Womanizer MTV is Nokia 5800 and I've taken a sudden liking for it. Hmm.

Back to reading PEEE.

Farhan